five

I don't know when this happened:

dawson, 5 days

dawson, june 2011

It seemed like it was yesterday that Dylan and I were basking on the beach in Hawaii, enjoying our honeymoon:

Just 5 weeks later we were surprised to learn I was pregnant (thank you, NuvaRing).

our little family, the day we found out i was pregnant. 
don't worry...those smiles are out of fear and denial.

I remember being shocked, scared, and worried.
Dylan was supportive, excited, and calm.

When the shock wore off and reality set in, my pregnancy was difficult. 
We were newlyweds.
I was working full time.
Oh, and I was sick all day.
Every day. 

holy huge face.

Despite the challenges, the time flew by and we soon learned we'd be welcoming a baby girl into our family.  I was elated. 3 weeks later in another ultrasound, we were again shocked to learn that our litle girl was actually a boy.  Dylan was thrilled.
A few months later I was headed to my sisters volleyball game after a long day at work.  I was having horrible 'heartburn' (aka: contractions) and texted Dylan to pick up some Tums on his way there.  As I walked into the game, I felt something warm drip down my leg...I was mortified that I'd wet my pants.  I ran waddled scurried into the bathroom and frantically called my mom.  She walked from the gym to the restroom and I confessed.  She told me it was normal for things like that to happen...I was 36 weeks pregnant after all (and 41 lbs heavier than usual...see below):

hello huge-ness.

We left the bathroom and walked into the game.  As I walked up the bleachers, I felt a gush and knew my water had broken.  I quickly sat down (mortified, again) and whispered to my mom.  She calmly walked down to my sister on the sideline and told her that I needed her clothes.
Did I mention I was wearing tan slacks? 
Do you know what happens when you dump a gallon of liquid on tan slacks?
I walked out of the game in athletic shorts, a maternity blouse, and red peep toe pumps. 
Stylish.

I felt unprepared and out of sorts.  I didn't have a bag packed, we had no name picked out, and our Lamaze class was set for the following weekend.  I begged Dylan to stop at Target so I could buy new pajamas. 
He said we needed to go to the hospital. 
I think I cried. 
I had in my mind that the birth would be orderly. 
Organized. 
Perfect.

And perfect it was. 
Dawson Leon Hatfield was born at 4:54am on October 4th.  At nearly 4 weeks early, he was a healthy 6 lb 4 oz.

3 hours old.

During my entire pregnancy I feared that once the baby was born, I would feel trapped.  That I would feel smothered and that the 18 years until adulthood would seem like an eternity.
The moment they laid him on my chest and I heard his little cry, I knew that eternity would never be long enough.

Dawson has brought joy to our lives, every moment of every day since.

He is bright, social, and kind hearted.  He loves his friends and values relationships.
He enjoys riding his bike, playing outside, doing art, and learning new things.
Dawson is quick to laugh and has an excitement for all things good.

I can't believe how quickly the time has gone.

How much he has taught me. 
And how boring life would be without him.

Happy happy birthday to my big 5 year old!
We love you.

xo,
tracy