time stands still best in moments that look suspiciously like ordinary life - brian andreas

Sunday, March 13, 2011

worst. dinner. ever.

This is going to be a picture less post...I'm just throwing that out there right now.  Lame, I know.
Tonight we decided to invite friends for dinner...we've never had this couple over and were really excited to spend some time with them and their sweet daughter.
Dinner was supposed to start at 5:30p.  I started preparing around 4:15p: boiled chicken, made alfredo sauce, and got out some dough in preparation for the delicious calzones that were going to grace our table.
Side note: the man coming to dinner spent 2 years in Italy, being fed some of the most perfected Italian food on the planet.  He has been said to have a 'critical palate'...not in a snotty way, but in a 'I wish I'd tried all those foods and knew half as much about food as he does' kind of way.  He also cooks frequently AND makes his own pasta, which I've heard is divine.
I was frustrated when I realized at 5:20p I realized that the meal was a TOTAL DISASTER. 
The dough did not rise.  It was flat and sticky.  I literally could not even roll it out. 
The sauce was runny (and a bit bland in my opinion) and oozed out of the sticky dough semi-circles.
The home made oreos had a runny center that wouldn't even stay put inside the cookies. 
I was so mortified.  I threw my cook book across the room (and ripped the cover in the process...serves me right) and almost called to cancel. 
I wanted to cry.  I didn't know what to do, and my guests were arriving in 10 minutes.
I did the only thing I could do: dumped the half-finished calzones in the trash and turned my chicken alfredo calzones into chicken alfredo fettucini.  My (irrational) hope was that the man would somehow forget, or not make it to dinner.  The very last meal on earth I EVER wanted to feed him was ANYTHING Italian.
So instead of fluffy flavorful chicken calzones, we had store bought fettucini with bland alfredo sauce and flat breadsticks. 
And it was 35 minutes late gracing the table. 
Don't forget the the runny cookies.  Sick.
I must say, I don't have many kitchen mishaps.  I'm no guru in the kitchen, but I can usually pull together an edible meal.  This was not one of those times.  Totally embarrassing.
The conversation was great and we were so happy to spend some time with their family, despite the   meal (the woman brought a salad and it was delicious, luckily).
I'm anxious to have them to dinner again.  And attempt to redeem myself.  I will not be serving Italian.

ps: I just couldn't do it...the blog with no pictures.  They're just boring and lame. 
Here is the new (to me) owl trivet that I got at the Goodwill for $1.99.  I used it tonight while making my disastrous dinner.  It is the cutest :


  1. haha this sounds like something that would happen to me. nice. i'm sure it wasn't thaaaaat bad. i hope you can get together with them again soon!! love you xoxo

  2. You're cute. I've totally been there before. Oh well...can't win them all, but it makes for a good blog post :o)

  3. sounds ridiculous! and so much like me as well. Why is when you try not to make and amazing meal it tastes delicious and the second you try and make something amazing it turns into dog crap? hate that. you're adorable. I told Betsy that I was coming with her in 10 days. I don't know how but I am....I wish...bummer.

  4. You are hilarious. I have a hard time believing that anything you do is a disaster. And I am sorry about your cookbook. But at least you have an AwEsOmE trivet, that I covet.

  5. Tracy! You are hilarious! Just want all to know that it was delicious pasta and Spencer loved it. I think Spencer's reputation has been blown a little out of proportion. He is good but not that good. (Dont tell him I said that)! We had a great time and would love to do it again. I think the sign of a great cook is how well you can improvise and you did that beautifully. Thanks again!